How To Deal With Paranoia & Friendships

My Personal Struggles

Ever since I was young I have struggled with finding and maintaining real and long lasting friendships. This could have come from bullying I received in school and then facing the harsh reactions from high school when I was outed for being gay by one of my closest friends.

I consider myself to have a fairly good amount of people in my social circle these days. I have also struggled to form any sort of close relationships with the majority of these people resulting in only have a couple of long lasting friendships. I mean I could easily count them on one hand. 

The few close friends I do have are rarely seen these days though, usually because of distance and busy lives. This itself is difficult for me part of dealing with my anxiety has been to keep my inner circle of friends close by, I suppose for some sort of validation that I am liked as an individual. 

Currently I am struggling with some paranoid thoughts that my friends have become bored of me and even begun to distance themselves. As I'm currently writing this post I am still having to convince myself that this is all just a thought in my head rather than the actual facts.

Paranoia & Mental Health

Many people who suffer with a mental health problem such as anxiety, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), schizophrenia and more will experience episodes of paranoia. These episodes can range from mild and short lived to severe and chronic. Often times being aimed at or involving people close to them such as friends and family.


Because paranoia can cause, and is made worse by stress, it could be helpful to try and relax and work through these feelings. Here are some tips I've found to be helpful to de-stress on those bad days.

  • Deep Breath - The best part about deep breathing is that it can be done anywhere, anytime. Find a place to sit or lie down, it's fine if you can't. Slowly start to breath in deeply, filling up your lungs. Then let it all out and breath out slowly. Repeat.
  • Stay Positive - Look for things in your life to be positive and grateful about. some times we don't always appreciate what we have. Remembering the positives in our lives can really help to relax our bodies and minds.
  • Simplify - Cut your to-do list down to size. Trying to keep ourselves busy so that we don't think about the bad things around us isn't going to help us relax. I'm not saying to take the day off and stay in bed. Just don't try to tire yourself out.
  • Laugh - Just like how stress can cause damage to our bodies, laughter can help to heal it. Laughter is so important! It can boost our immune systems, allow our hearts to relax and even relive some of those stress hormones. Of course, having fun is in itself a great stress buster too.

Yes, sometimes people can be less than what we thought they were. That doesn't mean that every bad thought we have is the gospel truth. Maybe you could talk with your friend and explain how you feel, it could help to clear the air a little. Whether it's about ourselves or others, sometimes the mind can run riot with a single negative idea so take a little time to relax and calm your mind.  


  1. Great post! I have anxiety and these thoughts are a constant thing for me, making it hard for me to make friends. Good tips xx

    1. This is a beautiful text, so honest! I feel you, anxiety has prevented me from lasting relationships for so long as well. Mainly, not wanting to appear pushy or to bother people make me so unable of just making a step that at the end of the day, people felt that they were always making the first step and eventually left. We always provoke what we are afraid of!

    2. Same here! These kind of things run through my head all the time. Hope the tips helped you out.